It’s Father’s Day today, I’m cooking lunch for 9 as has become the new tradition in our house for both Mother’s day and Father’s Day. My dad will have myself and my 2 brothers, my father in law will have his son and his daughter will FaceTime later, my brother will have his daughters, my husband will have no one. I don’t think this bothers him though, he doesn’t think about Father’s Day the way I do, I doubt he’s thought about how Father’s Day will change for him from next year. I have. I think about how Mother’s Day will change too, I think about the future filled with handmade ‘gifts’ that I can’t wait to display/wear with pride.
My fridge is full of food for today but my heart is a little empty, there’s a space where our child/children should be but it’s ok, I know that space shouldn’t be there for much longer.
I’ve been toying with emailing the adoption agency early, bring us closer to our children sooner, it can’t hurt, the worst they can say is no.
I found myself on eBay yesterday looking at outdoor play sets, sand pits and Wendy houses, as I watered our garden I was mentally placing the climbing frame etc and imagining running around after our small people. I considered starting to stock up on Lego so my Husband and our child/children can build it together, he works away for a few days a week, I thought it might be nice for them to build a piece together each weekend, it doesn’t have to be big, just something for our children to look forward to, something they know Daddy is coming home to help them with.
I digress – Father’s Day. A day for dads, the men in our lives who we can rely on no matter what, who will always have our back and be there for us. Who has my child’s back currently? I hope someone has, I hope there is a foster dad out there currently who has my baby’s back and is doing all those things my Husband and I can’t do for them yet but I promise we soon will be doing. That man has my heart today too alongside my Dad and father in law. To that man – thank you for keeping my baby safe.
Mummyinwaiting 